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Funny story happened to me when I visited Japan…it involves the weird food they eat. Itwas during the spring and there were a lot of festivals happening around the cherry blossom viewing thing they do over there. I was walking around Kyoto one evening enjoying the sights and events going on, when I come across this fair. Not turning down a good time I go and check it out. There were booths with games where you could win cricket cages and goldfish, but most importantly there were a lot of food vendors. I mean a lot! The y had everything from squid on a stick to these little round shiny white balls on a stick. I’m not in the mood for anything salty, so I opt for a sweet treat, when I came across these:
These little cream puffs looked extremely awesome. I ask what they are but I don’t know why, I don’t even know Japanese. All I know is “How much?”. I get me some yummy sweetness and walk away. One thing I learned in Japan is that it’s very rude to walk and eat at the same time, so I find me a concrete bench to much on my takoyaki. As I bite into it, I have a big surprise cuz there’s octopus in my cream puff, and no cream! Takoyaki is like a jelly donut if you replace the jelly with octopus. I couldn’t eat the rest, so I discretely throw them away, but I did give it a good effort. Well, I’ve finally found a video showing me how to make these, and it’s with a dog!
Cooking with Dog is the newest sensation hitting the culinary world. What intrigues me is how they take all the fear out of trying Japanese food, even though I’m sure I won’t like most of it.
My sources tell me that Francis (the host of Cooking with Dog) is in talks with the people of Iron Chef.
I can’t wait, the heat will be on! My money’s on the poodle and his assistant. I highly recommend you subscribe to the Cooking with Dog channel!
VS.
You loved it when you saw Isabella hump a cardboard cutout of a bumblebee, or lose her head while mating with a praying mantis. In case you need a sexy refresher, here is the first time I spoke about Green Porno. My favorite one is the snail, it’s so violent.
Well we couldn’t get enough of the ecological smut, and Isabella Rosellini responds with Green Porno 2. It’s environmentally decadent, you will love it. Out of the new ones, my favorite one is the whale. Who knew that’s how they did it! The link is NSFW if you work in a convent. I was gonna put my favorite clip on here for you, but couldn’t find it on youtube. So click on the link and watch them all at the Sundance link.
You remember that show, where these people pretty much lived in that bar, and if you’re one of the cool people the second you walked in everyone shouts out your name cuz “everybody knows your name” unless you were an extra in the background? That is the only reason why I HATED that show. Everyone was always smiling and glad to see you walk in cuz the second you walk in they’re falllin out of the damn stool just to say hello and buy you a beer. But if you were an extra in the background, you were pretty much a second-class citizen. Yeah I know this is only a show and you have to focus on the main characters blah blah blah. Well this also happens in real life, and I get to live it every day.
Because I’m eco-friendly, I ride the bus every day to get to school in order to help the rain forests and penguins and koalas and shit like that (avoiding driving in rush hour is a nice perk for being kind to trees too). I’m even willing to help ugly animals too. Anyhoot, I digress…
Every morning I catch the bus at 7 in the effin mornin and everyday without fail, I’ll be a bit grumpy. Well, in the bus there’s a group of “regulars” that are friendly towards each other, so once someone new in their click walks in, every one of these bozos yells their name out, JUST LIKE IN CHEERS! I sit at the back of the bus cuz I can see everything from back there. Well at my bus stop, 2 ladies that belong to this group get on, so when I board, people make a big hoorah when they get on (like the main characters that they are) while I just quietly go to my seat (like a Star Trek extra). Being in the back trying to stay awake, I’ve decided to name all of the main characters and re-enact life dramas they might have.
Cast (in order of Apperarence)
Eyebrows: This old lady(bout 55ish) paints her eyebrows on every morning. She gets on the bus the same time I do, and only talks to the other members of the group. One day the bus was late and she was waiting with me. Because I’m not in her little group, she don’t talk to me, so instead of makin small talk with me standing there, she calls her friend already riding the bus. Also, she looks like she’s a very grumpy person, but when the second the other member of the group gets to the bus stop, she lights up and makes stupid jokes. Bitch should be happy she gets to see me everyday, but I think she’s playin it off. Someone should have an eyebrow intervention with her.
Mommy Dearest: This is the other person that boards the bus with me and Eyebrows. I guess she’s a new mom cuz all she can talk about is her kids. These kids are the smartest kids in the world, cuz the conversation might be about politics, religion, or underwater quantum mechanics in Arameic, and she’ll bring up her kids. She looks tired and a bit bitchy, but the second she sees Eyebrows, her breathing gets faster and she smiles and kids around (but not with me, remember I’m an extra). Whatever anyone in her group might say, she can top it with how her son loves Jesus while singing the Star Spangled Banner.
Smiley: This guy is already on the bus when I board it with Eyebrows and Mommy Dearest. His main characteristic is that he doesn’t stop smiling the whole time. No kiddin! Because there’s always a conversation going on, he’s always smiling at whoever is talking. When it’s his turn to talk, he speaks with this creepy smile. I guess he’s mid 30’s and wears glasses and sits in the very very front seat of the bus. He also wears shoes with little tassles on the top of them. I don’t even know where to get shoes like that, and I go to shopping at the Goodwill for clothes.
Shy-Girl: Because she’s the youngest cast member, she can wear retro-chic fashions and scarves from the 60s, cuz that’s how she expresses herself. She doesn’t talk much but is still an important member of the group, cuz everyone wants an insight into todays culture and popular things. When anyone talks to her directly, they always start with the phrase “Back in my day…” She always nods at anything they tell her, so she must have really strong neck muscles. I bet she does the yoga, cuz like everyone knows, that what kids nowadays are doing. I was gonna put a pic of a shy girl here, but when I googled it, I kept gettin porn, and since Im in a public place, well can’t.
Cliff: I really can’t describe this old guy better than this, cuz he IS Cliff. He’s got a bit of a loserish way to him, but not in an annoying way. Today he was showing everyone his new iPhone and how groovy it is and how it’s gonna revolutionize everything and make his life so much easier, especially with the GPS. I can’t count the times I was on the bus and realized I didn’t know where I was. Wait, yes I can its ZERO. Smiley smiled, Shy-Girl nodded, Mommy Dearest interrupted him by sayin her 3yr old knows how to use an iPhone already (that little rascal!) and Eyebrows wasn’t payin attention cuz she’s checkin her makeup.
At the end of the day, or the bus ride, whatever comes first, everyone gets off the bus and with hugs, say goodbye. I sit there thinking tomorrow there will be new conversations, but I already know whats gonna happen. They better not find out my name! I am the Bus-Ridser-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
In 2000 years, space archeologists will have to decipher that code when they’re diggin up our remains. They’re gonna think humans from the 21st century were crazy to talk like that. Little will they know, that is the secret code that grants immortality.
I was thinking about Contra the other day because my sister sent me this Youtube link where this guy is playing the Contra theme song on an electric guitar. As a self proclaimed videogame nerd, I love it when people take videogame theme songs and play them on youtube. I actually have the entire Megaman II soundtrack played on an electric guitar on my mp3 player. Lemme tell ya, the Freeze Man theme just pumps you up when you’re joggin. Anyways, I digress.
While listening to these on youtube, I was reminded of a clip showing the SUPER MARIO BROS. LEVEL FROM HELL! Sorry for the caps, but this level is so difficult, I have to emphasize it as much as I can cuz you have to be a super hero to pass it. The clip shows this guy trying to get through it while he’s talkin. I dont know if its legit or whatever, all I know is he’s hella funny. The only way to beat this level is to have done the secret code for the unlimited lives for Mario. Unlike the Contra Code, this is not really a code, but an action that Mario must perform.
In levels 3-1 and 6-1, jump on the turtles that are climbing down the final steps to make them shells. Jump on the shell to make it bounce off the wall and then jump again to make it keep bouncing back and forth between Mario and the wall. Continue jumping on the shell for almost unlimited lives. Thanks to www.gamingtarget.com for the info. Once you obtain immortality, you can go to the level. Below is what you will find, and what you’ll probably be saying.
Disclaimer: Adult language and a few vulgarities are used in a very very liberal fashion, so if you’re offended by it, don’t watch it. You’ve been warned.
I’ll even eat those vegeatables that give you the farts, like cauliflower and brussel sprouts. There’s a catch, they have to look like characters from movies or videogames. I will NOT eat ugly vegetables!
While doing research for the blog, I stumbled across this website that teaches you step by step how to make bento boxes. For you that don’t know, a bento box is what Japanese moms pack their kids for lunch. In order to make them eat their veggies these moms wake up extra early in the mornings and make art out of their food.
Before I go any further, major KUDOS have to be given to Anna the Red for her awesome bentos. Not only does she show us her great and beautiful bento boxes, but she also explains step by step how even someone with limited cooking abilities can make their own bento boxes. If your food looked like that, why wouldn’t you eat it? The best part of thisI think is how temporary it all is. This kinda art is meant to be eaten so the next day it will be something different. It kinda reminds me of those sand mandala carprets those holy people do on the floor. The only way to immortalize it is to take a picture of it, which is what Anna the Red has done with her bento boxes.
As part of my new year’s regimen, Im gonna change my schedule to wake up every morning with enough time to make myself a bento box after I’m done with my morning run. I will have to experiment to see if can recreate Anna’s awesome bento boxes first to see how much time it will take my to make me a Totoro lunch. Because my new year’s workout starts next monday, I have to figure out how to eat healthier too, so that means more vagatables, even the nasty ones. Since my life is an open bible to my readership, I will keep you updated on my progress. Once I become an expert I’ll try and tackle movies that you wouldn’t think of eating. Until then, go check out Anna the Red’s blog.
I’ve been under the weather the last couple of days, so this post was written while under medication and feverish conditions. I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray!
Isabella Rossellini makes anything she’s in so artsy, so no wonder these porno clips are awesome. I think its the way she talk that makes things sound so brainy and high-brow. I took a bunch of biology classes in school so I knew the basics but seeing them so graphically here was very decadent and informative.
Out of all the creatures that I saw having sex, my favorite are the snail and the spider. I couldn’t find a video with all of the insects, but you can watch all the Green Pornos here. You know I only watch cool things on the internet, so trust me it’s worth it. Enjoy!
We came. We danced. We conquered. This is how zombies will take over the world, in style.
[photo by Jose Ole]
This year marked the 25th anniversary of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video coming out (Dec. 2, 1983), and to celebrate, Thrill the World organized a massive simultaneous dance of the Thriller across 91 cities in 12 countries. Pretty much it was about 4000 zombies from all over the world, from Los Angeles to Hong Kong, Canada to South Africa, doing the Thriller at the same time. Impressive, aint it?
In order to learn the dance, we went to Thriller boot camp the day before the big event and practiced for about 3-4 hours. We were still a little shaky on the steps. That was not the only time to go learn the steps, but it was the only one we could attend. On the magical day (Oct. 25, 2008), my friends and I gathered up at the Long Center in Austin, TX, where we joined 876 other zombies. The official dance was at 1:00pm CTS, but we got there at 11am to have the Guinness World Record people sign us in and so we can squeeze in a couple more practices as well as get our zombie faces on. When the moment came, all 881 zombies rocked out some killer moves. If you missed it, here’s a clip of the event. I’ve never been a part of anything this grand, it was exhilarating. FYI, I’m almost in the dead center (no pun intended) wearing a green flannel shirt and zombie makeup).
Now for some cold hard facts:
- In 2007, the record was set at 1,722 zombies dancing the Thriller simultaneously in multiple locations around the world.
- The record for the most zombies in one location was held by middle school in England with 147 zombies.
- The top 5 cities that contributed the most number of undead are:
- Austin, TX, USA – 881
- Gurnee, IL, USA – 334
- Seattle, WA, USA – 195
- Corpus Christi, TX, USA – 150
- Kelowna, BC, Canada – 132
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As you can see by the figures, the top city (Austin, TX) had more zombies than the next top 4 cities put together!
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The grand total for number of zombies dancing the Thriller is an amazing 4,177. This includes zombies from Australia, Canada, England, Germany, Ireland, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, New Zealand, Scotland, United States of America, and Wales.
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You can double check my figures as well as get some cool-ass information about this event and watch the videos of all locations that participated at both at Thrill the World and Thrill the World, Austin. You can also get links for the instructional videos and guides so you too can dance the Thriller!
I don’t wanna say that one city is better, or cooler, or funner than another, but people in Austin, Texas sure do know how to have fun! The people that organized everything in Austin, from the dance lessons to the craziness of organizing everyone were the awesome people of the Alamo Drafthouse. This movie theater has the coolest events, this being the coolest. With that being said, it’s still an amazing thing that more than 4000 people from all over the world got together to do this. Too all of the people in all these countries I gotta say “THANK YOU”. You are all awesome. To the countries that didn’t participate, you are lame and should organize something for next year. I’ll be there next year defending the title.
I do want to thank Nicholas, Heather, Drea, and Kirk for making this even one of the coolest things I’ve done in my whole life! Also havin my mom out in the crowd of spectators made it even more special. When she got home she was braggin to her friends like she just came from a 3rd grade recital.
Would you like to learn how to do the Thriller? Of course you would. I can’t think of anyone that wouldn’t want to know how to dance it. If you can’t dance if your life depended on it, well that’s not my problem. These instructional videos break it down to good pieces so even a real zombie could dance it, so get off your fat “living” ass and start practicing. To get your whistle wet, here’s a little clip to get you started with the zombie steps. Remember the Zombie Claws, and do it like the undead!
Here’s a video I found of a dad interviewing his daughter about Star Wars. You can tell she has been instructed in the awesome ways of geekness. Of all the geeks, dorks, nerds, and back-table rejects I’ve known, this has got to be the cutest, most adorable geek in the world!. From the counter on the Youtube thing, this video has been viewed over 9 MILLION times. If that is accurate, then probably a good chunk of you have already seen it. To those that haven’t , make sure you turn up the volume to understand every word she says, you don’t wanna miss an iota of cuteness, and make sure you’re sittin down. You will undoubtedly experience a cuteness overload.
People keep bashing Sarah Palin for not having any experience with foreign relations. It’s true that she has said some utterly stupid comments that only reaffirm this. You might say that I also have said some doozies on this blog. But guess what I’m not runnin for V.P. Anyhoot, I’m straying from my point that I have found proof that Palin actually does have foreign relations experience.
Apparently she went to a Spanish-speaking country and even learned Spanish to talk to the locals. Having impressed the locals, they made her an honorary queen. My only concern is that she used Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 song. Lately she’s had bad luck with her DJs. First they played Barracuda by Heart without the band knowing, and Heart got hella mad. You’d think they learned thier lesson, but then they played some Jon von Jovi song, and he got hella mad. Dolly gonna whoop Palin’s butt if she didn’t ask permission first. And you know Dolly don’t mess around! But then again, you don’t mess with La Pequeña Sarah Palin.
Talkin about peace always gets me excited too.
If there was world peace, would soldiers lose their jobs? If we cured every disease known to man, why do we need doctors? If we erradicated poverty, would bankers need to find a different job? I dunno. All I know is if we become increasingly aware of our impact on things like the environment, immigration, equal wages between the sexes, feminism, etc, we gonna put hippies out of a job. Whoa, they gonna have to get a real job instead of bitchin about everything. I’m not saying that hippies are bad, or even annoying. Hippies have improved the way of life not only in this couuntry but the rest of the world.
In the 60’s, hippies were against a wrong war (Vietnam). I think because of them we now have freedom to express our thoughts about today’s dumb wars (*cough Iraq cough*). Back then hippies fought for equal rights for women, gays, war veterans, illegal immigrants, and pretty much any group that was being oppressed by the man. I’m not saying we’ve solved all those problems, but we’re a helluva lot closer to finding a solution. So what happens when you take away things for hippies to fight for? You get the modern day neo-hippie.
The neo-hippie is someone that is fighting for a cause in an annoying manner. Most often, these neo-hippies congregate and form gropus like Greenpeace or Peta. I’m not knockin these people down, cuz I’m all for helping the earth by fighting global warming, or helping animals be not tortured. Hell, I’m probably the biggest dog person I know, and I’ve seen all episodes of Captain Planet.
Well, what the hell has happened to the hippie? I came across this news article about how PETA is asking Ben and Jerry’s to consider using breast milk instead of cow milk in their ice cream. Come on people, that’s just gross.
“If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits…The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream?”
PETA needs a vacation. Hey, how bout a ski trip to the Swiss Alps?
While surfin Youtube, I came across this clip of some angry hippies. They probably got kicked out of Greenpeace for noise violations. If you can annoy Greenpeace, that’s sayin somethin. It’s like out-saintin Mother Teresa, or out-prayin the Pope, or out-dumbing G.W.
Hippies used to fight for justice, peace, and not just the American way, but the Human way. Now they’re just plain annoyin. WTF happened to you guys? Hippies nowadays are just loud, obnoxious, and kinda nasty. Breast milk gelatto, anyone?
P.S.
I do like those “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” ads. Keep them coming. But do them good, with hot hippies, not fugly ones. And no trashy hippies like Pam Anderson. I don’t wanna see her nasty-ass naked, I’m tryin to avoid occular syphlis.
