You remember that show, where these people pretty much lived in that bar, and if you’re one of the cool people the second you walked in everyone shouts out your name cuz “everybody knows your name” unless you were an extra in the background? That is the only reason why I HATED that show. Everyone was always smiling and glad to see you walk in cuz the second you walk in they’re falllin out of the damn stool just to say hello and buy you a beer. But if you were an extra in the background, you were pretty much a second-class citizen. Yeah I know this is only a show and you have to focus on the main characters blah blah blah. Well this also happens in real life, and I get to live it every day.

Because I’m eco-friendly, I ride the bus every day to get to school in order to help the rain forests and penguins and koalas and shit like that (avoiding driving in rush hour is a nice perk for being kind to trees too). I’m even willing to help ugly animals too. Anyhoot, I digress…

Every morning I catch the bus at 7 in the effin mornin and everyday without fail, I’ll be a bit grumpy. Well, in the bus there’s a group of “regulars” that are friendly towards each other, so once someone new in their click walks in, every one of these bozos yells their name out, JUST LIKE IN CHEERS! I sit at the back of the bus cuz I can see everything from back there. Well at my bus stop, 2 ladies that belong to this group get on, so when I board, people make a big hoorah when they get on (like the main characters that they are) while I just quietly go to my seat (like a Star Trek extra). Being in the back trying to stay awake, I’ve decided to name all of the main characters and re-enact life dramas they might have.

Cast (in order of Apperarence)

Eyebrows: This old lady(bout 55ish) paints her eyebrows on every morning. She gets on the bus the same time I do, and only talks to the other members of the group. One day the bus was late and she was waiting with me. Because I’m not in her little group, she don’t talk to me, so instead of makin small talk with me standing there, she calls her friend already riding the bus. Also, she looks like she’s a very grumpy person, but when the second the other member of the group gets to the bus stop, she lights up and makes stupid jokes. Bitch should be happy she gets to see me everyday, but I think she’s playin it off. Someone should have an eyebrow intervention with her.

Mommy Dearest: This is the other person that boards the bus with me and Eyebrows. I guess she’s a new mom cuz all she can talk about is her kids. These kids are the smartest kids in the world, cuz the conversation might be about politics, religion, or underwater quantum mechanics in Arameic, and she’ll bring up her kids. She looks tired and a bit bitchy, but the second she sees Eyebrows, her breathing gets faster and she smiles and kids around (but not with me, remember I’m an extra). Whatever anyone in her group might say, she can top it with how her son loves Jesus while singing the Star Spangled Banner.

Smiley: This guy is already on the bus when I board it with Eyebrows and Mommy Dearest. His main characteristic is that he doesn’t stop smiling the whole time. No kiddin! Because there’s always a conversation going on, he’s always smiling at whoever is talking. When it’s his turn to talk, he speaks with this creepy smile. I guess he’s mid 30’s and wears glasses and sits in the very very front seat of the bus. He also wears shoes with little tassles on the top of them. I don’t even know where to get shoes like that, and I go to shopping at the Goodwill for clothes.

Shy-Girl: Because she’s the youngest cast member, she can wear retro-chic fashions and scarves from the 60s, cuz that’s how she expresses herself. She doesn’t talk much but is still an important member of the group, cuz everyone wants an insight into todays culture and popular things. When anyone talks to her directly, they always start with the phrase “Back in my day…” She always nods at anything they tell her, so she must have really strong neck muscles. I bet she does the yoga, cuz like everyone knows, that what kids nowadays are doing. I was gonna put a pic of a shy girl here, but when I googled it, I kept gettin porn, and since Im in a public place, well can’t.

Cliff: I really can’t describe this old guy better than this, cuz he IS Cliff.  He’s got a bit of a loserish way to him, but not in an annoying way.  Today he was showing everyone his new iPhone and how groovy it is and how it’s gonna revolutionize everything and make his life so much easier, especially with the GPS.  I can’t count the times I was on the bus and realized I didn’t know where I was.  Wait, yes I can its ZERO.  Smiley smiled, Shy-Girl nodded, Mommy Dearest interrupted him by sayin her 3yr old knows how to use an iPhone already (that little rascal!) and Eyebrows wasn’t payin attention cuz she’s checkin her makeup.

At the end of the day, or the bus ride, whatever comes first, everyone gets off the bus and with hugs, say goodbye.  I sit there thinking tomorrow there will be new conversations, but I already know whats gonna happen.  They better not find out my name!  I am the Bus-Ridser-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!