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A while ago I was in my pursiut to save time and take shortcuts, I found this site with movies that have been made into cartoons, re-enacted by bunnies, and they tell the story in less than 30 seconds. They have a whole list of movies and you should visit their site at http://www.angryalien.com/. Out of all of them, my favorite one is this one, just because they have totally captured the depravity and decadence of the original. Rock on, Rocky Horror!!! If now they can animate the presidential election and shorten it to 30 seconds, I will be set!!! Besides, anything I believe strongly about has always reached me through caartoons.
more about “A bunny in fishnets and pearls… Hel…“, posted with vodpod
Yesterday I had a kick-ass curry at the local Thai restaurant. Liek always, I have leftovers. Well today I was at work daydrreamin on how good it will be to have that for lunch. So I decided to go back home and eat it during my lunch break. I got home around 11:45ish and put the leftovers in the microwave. Just as I was about to hit the start button, my cellphone rings and it’s my boss. She is located in Canada and today was the day we were going to have a conference call with the whole quality team. I hadn’t forgotten that it was at 1pm, but I did forget about these things called “Time Zones” No biggie, I’ll have the call at home. 2.5hrs later when the conference call is ending, I still haven’t had my curry. So I decided to take a late lunch and watch tv while I have my curry. I turn on the tube a little afraid, since I haven’t watched daytime tv since college. And lo-and-behold, there was the God Emperor staring back at me: Oprah herself!!! (cue creepy music.)
Oprah with her face retracted inside herself. Trust me!
I was good during the meeting, so I deserve this little indulgence. More importantly, I want to see what all these gazillions of people see in the god emperor (that’s Oprah). While eating, what struck me the most was that after Orah said ANYTHING, the people clapped. Hey, if I had a shot glass and bottle of my favorite spirit, I could make this into a drinking game!
So, here’s my idea; every time people clap at anything Oprah says you take a drink. Whenever the god emperor mentions some Gail chick, its a whole shot. Also, whenever the god emperor gives out a word of advice, you take an article of clothing off. By the way, the more people participate, the better. You don’t wanna be the only one doing this, and it’s kinda sad and pathetic if you do this while you’re home alone at your mom’s.
Today’s god emperor show was about how American parents are spoiling their children rotten. Some little 8yr old girl throws tantrems when she doesn’t get a Coaches purse. This other kid has 7 cell phones. What was most uncomfortable was that all this time, the god empeoror is sitting on stage on a sofa with their parents and is listening these parents bitch and complain about their kids. And the kids are in the audience! Yeah, I fucked up my kids by spoiling them rotten, and they can kick my ass and steal my money, and I’m afraid of them. Pity me, god emperor. Pity me!
To this, Oprah was all “Bitch, please!. I shit out diamond crusted Coach bags. And aren’t cell phones disposable anyways?” Then she rolled over and crushed the parents under her massive weight. I don’t think she meant to do that, but she was thrashing about rather violently. I believe someone sneezed while she was trying to give out advice (tequila shot!).
Nah, she really didn’t say all of that, but I was wishin she had. She did give out a lot of advice though. It was hillarious because she don’t even have no kids!! SHe would say “Well, as you know I have no kids, but my friend Gail does. And she puts them inside a burlap sac and beats them when they’re insolent.” (tequila shot!)
Silly Oprah, we all know when you went from normal tv host to god emperor, you lost your reproductive organs and means of procreating. Anyways, Since it’s a school night, I can’t be drinking or I get into serious shit. I’m thinking though that I need to start TiVo’in this show, how else am I gonna get drunk? Now I know why she has such a gigantic following, all these homemakers are drunk off their gourds!
I can’t believe I wasted a whole hour of my life watchin this shit and I’m not even drunk. OK, gotta go, need to go learn some dance moves off of youtube for Mike’s wedding in 2 weeks. Now that’s entertainment!!
Yeah yeah, I know why beat up a dead horse? Why reopen old wounds? Because I feel like it, besides, good discussions are hard to come by. We know that both of these lovely ladies are good fighters, but they make it look so damn sexy. Both came back from the dead because they had more fighting to do. Both ladies changed their hair color to be the best they can be (Buffy dyed her hair blonde, Xena dyed it black. Trust me, I check my facts) So we will break it down on seemingly random facts to see who is the kick-ass majesty of mayhem, royal roughian, the absolute warrir princess.
1. Costumes and Weapons:
The lovely Xena is wearing a form-fitting leather corset and skirt, very attractive leather boots, metal forearm protectors and very impressive hand-crafted metal breastplate. To fight off the baddies, she can handle a spear, shield, knives, even cast iron pots and pans. She prefers a good sword though. She is master of hands down the coolest weapon since the lightsaber from a long long time ago: the chakram. She throughs it at bad guys and after it’s done, it comes back to her. Can you blame it?
Don’t get me wrong, Buffy always looked good. But honestly, with an unlimited supply of clothes from the Gap and Banana Rep. anyone can be Buffy. Like her counterpart, Buffy is skilled in the arts of swords, axes, spears, etc. Her weapon of choice: the wooden stake. Um, at least it’s biodegradeable. Overall, meh.
Point: Xena
2. Crew
Every hero needs a posse. Xena’s tagalong gang included Gabrielle: a blond, annoying Sappho-lovin friend of Ellen. That’s cool. It also included Joxer. He was dumb-witted and always needed rescuing, pretty much dead weight. Can you say nepotism?
Xena had the lesbian and the idiot. Buffy had Willow and Xander. Like Gabrielle, Willow started out a bit annoying. Then she found magiks and the joys of girl luvin and changed teams. I guess the girls are tied, so on to the guys. Xander was the weakest link of the team, always needin to get rescued. He even admitted this much. Then he redeemed himself against evil-Willow, and besides is cuter than Joxer. Go, Scooby Gang!!!!
Point: Buffy.
3. Hook-ups:
To tell you the truth, both kinda skanked it up. Xena was seen sluttin it up with Ares to Mark Anthony to Hercules before settling on Gabrielle. Buffy was seen with Angel (*cough* douche) to that army guy Riley before settling on Spike.
Point: Xena (Angel, eeew)
4. Closest competition:
Callisto was an OK fighter, almost being as good as Xena. Almost. Then he got her greedy hands on some ambrosia, and all hell broke loose. Best moment: Callisto paralyzes Xena with her own Chakram. Then kicks some more Xena/Gabrielle ass in the afterlife as a demon in hell. She single-handedly took Xena to hell and back. Bitch is good.
When Buffy had the unfortunate death, the world needed another slayer. Fortunately for us, Faith was activated. But wait, Buffy ain’t gonna give up that easily, so she came back. Lo-and-behold, now we have a power struggle. One of the best catfights was between these two ladies. Faith was as good as Buffy, if not better. She didn’t have a conscience to get in the way of some ass-kicking. At the end, both Callisto and Faith turned out to be good, but Faith was terrorizing d-bag, I mean Angel in his own show too.
Point: Buffy (I just don’t like the D-bag Angel)
5. Villains: (a hero is only as good as the baddies)
Xena fought against warlords and gods. Her first rival was the god of war himself, Ares. She not only fought, but killed the Olympian dynasty, finishing off Athena herself. She fought against Dehak, the evil of all evils. She duked it out with Julius Cesar. Of all those bad guys, the biggest villain Xena could ever face would be the closest person to her in the whole universe: her daughter Livia (Sorry Gabrielle). Livia was called the “whore of Rome”, she was vicious, evil, bloodthirsty. Just like momma! Could Xena face her own daughter in a fight of all fights? SHE DID!
Buffy duked it out with Angelus (*cough* douche), Spike (meh) The First, and the Gentlemen. Like Oscar Wilde said “Only a true friend stabs you in the front”. At first, Willow was the token annoying sidekick just like Gabrielle. Then she started messin around bad stuff with Tara (I mean the magiks). Once Tara bit the big once, Willow got craaaaazy. So carefree smartass redhead became a demonic, veiny brunette. Yes, brunettes are inherently evil, trust me on that one. She even had awesome black eyes. She was going to single-handedly destroy the entire world. Could Buffy face and bring down her former BFF? Technically, it was Xander that did the trick, but still, it was scary.
Point: It’s a tie.
TIE BREAKER
Best episode.
Day after day, Xena wakes up to the same day happening over and over. Think “Groundhog Day”. Been there, done that. That happens to be my favorite episode, but its not the best. Best Xena episode: Devi. Xena had the cojones to channel and become the kickass diety Kali? you better believe it!
Buffy’s best episode: Hush. The had the guts to have a complete episode with NO dialogue? Not only it was the best one, it was nominated for an Emmy for best writing. Go figure. (well deserved!!!)
AND THE WINNER IS…
So one of my many hobbies is to surf YouTube, and most of the time it’s ok if you wanna waste a few hours lowering your I.Q. Well, there are also those times that you find a diamond in the rough, and this is one of those diamonds. Brenda Dickson is so awesome, she had a parody done to her vanity video. She is so funny, I’ve incorporated her speech into normal conversations. “Kudos me, I’ve made myself pregnant!”
Ok, so I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the hardware department, but why can’t I just add a damn flag counter on my blog. That’s why I don’t like blogs.
Martha Homemaker from Spokane, WA has a blog because she has too many emotions and her unresponsive husband is tired of listening to her. She talks about how she feels, how to get stains out of clothes, and how to make an apple brown betty. Worst of all, she has a flag counter on her blog. I know I’m not fluent in HTLM, but she can totally show me up on that shit.
Do you know how long it took me to put a kitten biting another kitten on this thing? I was up till like 3am! I quit Myspace because of that shit too! Everyone had videos and music and wallpapers and shit. I just wanted to turn my page blue. Oh its so easy, you just go and type RRRFFFRR or whatever and don’t forget to use the brackets too. If you can’t figure that out, then just use a premade template they have on the internet.
I don’t have the best attention span, so if I can’t figure out how to change something fast, then it really isn’t worth changing. My little cousin can put hello kitties and hanna montana and the Jonas pictures on her myspace. Why can she do it and not I? And who the F*&#^ are the Jonases? At least I can legally drink. Damn, I need a beer. I also need a damn flag counter, for goodness sake.
What I’ve learned from that experienc, as well as what I’m being reminded today is: If it takes too much time, is it really worth doing?
Dear Leilani: A really good friend of mine is coming to town to visit me for the weekend. She is pretty much the Queen of Cool. Obviously I want her to have a good time, but I’m worried that all the stuff I have planned to do won’t be fun and cool enough. She will hate her trip and our friendship might be strained. Am I being paranoid?
Sincerely, Scared Dork.
Dear Scared Dork,
You need to chill out. There’s nothing worse than hanging out with a person that’s not having fun. Obviously, this “Queen of Cool” is coming from far away just to visit you and hangout with you, so she sees something in you that she likes. And if she really is the Queen of Cool, she sounds like a lot of fun and only hangs out with fun people (you being one of them). So just be yourself, becuse that is who she wants to hang out with. So it doesn’t matter if you take her to a Star Trek convention or the symphony. Just relax and have a good time.
Leilani is here to help you out with her advice. She attended the Center of Onho Mado Peia for gifted oracles, where she majored in divination and minored in ukelela. She offers her advice and fabulous recipies here. You can send her your questions at luvleeleilani@gmail.com .
Ok, so some of you have figured out I like this book. I broke a cardinal rule by watching the David Lynch version before reading the book. Hell, I didn’t know there was a book. Albeit, I saw it a long ass time ago, and didn’t understand one lick of it. Then someone very special told me to read the book, so I did. OMG, very very nice of a book. It scratched every sci-fi itch I had. To the extent that I had to read the entire series of 6 books. Of all of them, obviously this is the best.
Almost all of the characters are extremey awesome, to the point that I want to be like them when I grow up. My favourite of course is Lady Jessica. She is tough, yet gentle,and not to give out too many spoilers, but the whole series is all about here (in my opinion anyways). Try to picture Princess Leia about 5 years after the last movie (not Natalie Portman!) She has realized she can be a Jedi master. So not only is she tough already, but now she’s going to be like her twin. She is woman, hear her roar!
Other cool things about Dune: the sandworms, the Wierding way, the Fremen, everyone addicted to the spice Melange, since they get blue-inblu eyes, and the Bene Gesserit and of course The Voice. I got inspiration for the name of this blog from that book, mainly the whole series. There are some booko out there that just move you and inspire you and change your lives. Kinda like Star Wars nerds. They live the Jedi life. Um ok, I’m not that bad, but hey, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Another way that book has affected me is now I wanna get a dog, name her Jessica (yup, she’s a lady too). I will treat her with love and respect, and train her to use the Voice on command. She’s gonna be soooooo pretty and regal and all that shit.
Anyways, I digressed from the book review. I don’t wanna give out any spoilers because you should discover them for yourself. It’s a fairly long book, but man it goes so fast! Make sure you pay attention to the last page of the story, especially the last line. Sheer awesomeness!!!! But you don’t have to take my word for it.
I was reading Chicago Rachel’s blog today and was thinking ” this kinda looks fun, but who has the time to learn that HTLM shit?” Well, if anyone can do this, why can’t I? How hard can it be? Will I have enough time to post stuff? How many questions am I gonna ask? Can I even stop?
Well, here it goes. Mostly I will be talking about all the random stuff that comes outta my mouth. Yeah, that’s how I roll.
